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Company Memo 10/23/08

Posted by Rob Longenecker on October 23rd, 2008

 

“New Company Memo As of November 5, 2008.”

As of November 5, 2008, when President Obama officially becomes president-elect, our company will instill a few new policies which are in keeping with his new, inspiring issues of change and fairness:

1. All salespeople will be pooling their sales and bonuses into a common pool that will be divided equally between all of you. This will serve to give those of you who are under-achieving a “fair shake”.

2. All low level workers will be pooling their wages, including overtime, into a common pool, dividing it equally amongst you. This will help those who are “too busy for overtime” to reap the rewards from those who have more spare time and can work extra hours.

3. All top management will now be referred to as “the government.” We will not participate in this “pooling” experience because the law doesn’t apply to us.

4. The “government” will give eloquent speeches to all employees every week, encouraging its workers to continue to work hard “for the good of all”.

5. The employees will be thrilled with these new policies because it’s “good to spread the wealth around”. Those of you who have underachieved will finally get an opportunity; those of you who have worked hard and had success will feel more “patriotic”.

 

2 Responses to “Company Memo 10/23/08”

  1. Jeremy B. Says:

    thanks for the laugh…this is exactly how absurd Obama’s “spread the wealth” doctrine really is.

  2. K Sherrell Says:

    And for any idealist young folks in college, those of you that earn over 3.5 grade point will be required to give 1.0 of your grade point to a lower performing student.

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