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Archive for October, 2007

Some email I enjoy – like this one.

Posted by Rob Longenecker on 31st October 2007

Tomato Millionaire:
 
An unemployed man goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor. The manager there arranges for him to take an aptitude test (Section: Floors, sweeping and cleaning).

After the test, the manager says, “You will be employed at minimum wage, $5.15 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address, so that I can send you a form to complete and tell you where to report for work on your first day.

Taken aback, the man protests that he has neither a computer nor an e-mail address. To this the MS manager replies, “Well, then, that means that you virtually don’t exist and can therefore hardly expect to be employed.

Stunned, the man leaves. Not knowing where to turn and having only $10 in his wallet, he decides to buy a 25 lb flat of tomatoes at the supermarket. Within less than 2 hours, he sells all the tomatoes individually at 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 before going to sleep that night.

And thus it dawns on him that he could quite easily make a living selling tomatoes. Getting up early every day and going to bed late, he multiplies his profits quickly.

After a short time he acquires a cart to transport several dozen boxes of tomatoes, only to have to trade it in again so that he can buy a pickuptruck to support his expanding business. By the end of the second year, he is the owner of a fleet of pickup trucks and manages a staff of a hundred former unemployed people, all selling tomatoes.

Planning for the future of his wife and children, he decides to buy some life insurance. Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances. At the end of the telephone conversation, the adviser asks him for his e-mail address in order to send the final documents electronically.

When the man replies that he has no e-mail, the adviser is stunned, “What, you don’t have e-mail? How on earth have you managed to amass such wealth without the Internet, e-mail and e-commerce? Just imagine where you would be now, if you had been connected to the internet from the very start!”

After a moment of thought, the tomato millionaire replied, “Why, of course! I would be a floor cleaner at Microsoft!”

Moral of this story:
 
1. The Internet, e-mail and e-commerce do not need to rule your life.
2. If you don’t have e-mail, but work hard, you can still become a millionaire.
3. Since you got this story via e-mail, you’re probably closer to becoming a janitor than you are to becoming a millionaire.
4. If you do have a computer and e-mail, you have already been taken to the cleaners by Microsoft.

Posted in Fun | 1 Comment »

The Female Genie

Posted by Rob Longenecker on 28th October 2007

While trying to escape through Pakistan, Osama Bin Laden found a bottle on the sand & picked it up.

Suddenly, a female Genie rose from the bottle and with a smile said, “Master, may I grant you one wish?”

Osama responded, “You ignorant, unworthy Daughter-of-a-dog!

Don’t you know who I am? I don’t need any common woman giving me anything.”

The shocked Genie said, “Please, I must grant you a wish or I will be returned to that bottle forever.”

Osama thought a moment, then grumbled about the impertinence of the woman and said, “Very well, I want to awaken with three American women in my bed in the morning. So just do it and be off with you.”

The annoyed Genie said, “So be it!” and disappeared.

The next morning Bin Laden woke up in bed with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding, and Hillary Clinton at his side.

His penis was gone, his knees were broken, and he had no health insurance.

Posted in Fun | No Comments »

The Daily Motivator

Posted by Rob Longenecker on 27th October 2007

Ralph Marston publishes The Daily Motivator. I receive it every day and save most of them. I don’t know why I haven’t shared this with you before.

The Daily Motivator is a great way to start the day, and it comes right to your email in plain text. There’s always a link so you can experience The Daily Motivator in a visual presentation. (has sound).

Enjoy!

Let me know if your glad I posted this.

Rob

P.S., It’s only $15/year to subscribe – and it makes a great gift. Everyone I’ve given it to as a gift has let me know how much they appreciate it. The Daily Motivator.

Posted in Good To Know, Inspiration, Personal Interest | 1 Comment »

Father of slain Marine sues church.

Posted by Rob Longenecker on 26th October 2007

Have you seen this story? It’s one more in a series of abuses of the families of slain servicemen by members of The Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka Kansas.

I heard a radio interview some time ago where a nationally known talk show host allowed two church members to spew their hatred in exchange for not picketing a fallen soldier’s funeral.

You have to ask yourself what kind of person is attracted to this point of view? In my experience, people who are the most judgemental often hate themselves, but don’t want to look within. In any case, I hope the courts can keep these nuts at a safe distance from the memorials services of our fallen servicemen and women.

It’s a shame that grieving families have to put up with this abuse.

Note: this church thinks that the biggest lie ever told is that “God loves everyone.”  Do you really think God makes exceptions?

When someone says that they’re saved and someone else is not, it’s time to do an about face and walk away.

Posted in Controversial, Good To Know | 4 Comments »

President Huckabee?

Posted by Rob Longenecker on 23rd October 2007

Mike Huckabee is the Governor or Arkansas and he’s running for president of the United States. He was great during the Republican debate Sunday night but that’s not the first time. I’m paying attention.

He’s right on the 2nd Amendment

Here’s a summary of Mike Huckabee on the issues of the day.

huckabeesmall.jpg

He strikes me as a real guy with straight answers. Any opinions?

Posted in Good To Know, News You Can Use, Opinion, Personal Interest | 1 Comment »

Global warming activism more of a religious movement than science?

Posted by Rob Longenecker on 20th October 2007

John Stossel from ABC says, “Give me a break!” once again.

“This week on ‘20/20’ (in our new 8 p.m. Eastern time slot) I say ‘Give Me a Break!’ to our Nobel Prize-winning Vice President.

“Mr. Gore says ‘The debate is over,’ and those who disagree with his take on global warming have been ‘purchased’ in order to create ‘the illusion of a debate.’ Nonsense. It’s as if the Vice President and his allies in the environmental movement plan to win the debate through intimidation. I interview some scientists who won’t be intimidated, even though one has had his life threatened for speaking up.”

I look forward to Stossel’s report. More details.

 

Posted in Controversial, News You Can Use, Opinion | No Comments »

Gen. Sanchez’s Scream

Posted by Rob Longenecker on 18th October 2007

He indicted everyone involved in Iraq, including the media and Congress.

BY DANIEL HENNINGER on the Wall Street Journal Editorial Page, Thursday, October 18, 2007 12:01 a.m. EDT

“Over the past weekend there were front-page accounts everywhere of Gen. Ricardo S. Sanchez’s description of the war in Iraq as a “nightmare.” The New York Times led its story this way: “In a sweeping indictment of the four-year effort in Iraq, the former top commander of American forces there called the Bush administration’s handling of the war ‘incompetent’ and said the result was ‘a nightmare with no end in sight.’ ”

Gen. Sanchez said this last Friday to a gathering of reporters and editors in Washington who cover military affairs. It was a dramatic denunciation from the man who led U.S. forces in Iraq from 2003 to 2004.” 

For the rest of the article go here.

As I read the beginning of this article I didn’t want to read further. You may feel the same. I’m tired of all the arguing about Iraq. Still, it’s definitely worth the time to read this short article about General Sanchez’s recent comments.  He doesn’t pull any punches. 

 

 

 

Posted in Good To Know, News You Can Use, Opinion | No Comments »

Chicken Little may be just a lurking turkey.

Posted by Rob Longenecker on 15th October 2007

Yeah, another Al Gore post.

The global warming debate is a great example of the need to question any “herd mentality.” Maybe Manhattan will be under 20 feet of water some day, and maybe there really will be beach front property in Arizona. I just resist the notion that one side has all the facts.

Note this article refuting Mr. Little’s absolute certainty in the matter.

Posted in Controversial, Opinion | No Comments »

Chicken Little Wins the Nobel Peace Prize

Posted by Rob Longenecker on 12th October 2007

Al Gore has just won the Nobel Peace Prize based upon his global warming movie, “An Unsubstantiated Truth.”

Gore’s movie is shown in British schools now, but it’s been determined that Gore exaggerated so much that, before the movie is shown to the children, the exaggerations and doubtful assertions must be revealed to the kids. The sky may not be falling after all.

In interviews, Gore says he didn’t want to invite any doubt about his assertions, so that’s why it was so one-sided. He deliberately slanted the story to fit a particular outcome - a recent BBC video explains.

fearmongore-thumb.jpg

If we’re going to debate any issue of great importance and reach a reasoned consensus, let’s leave the arguing to the well-informed rather than to Chicken Little.

I sure hope Al has filled the hole in his soul with this prize and finally proven to his dear departed father that he’s worth loving after all.

Posted in Controversial, News You Can Use, Opinion, Personal Interest | 1 Comment »

Send good thoughts Tucker’s way.

Posted by Rob Longenecker on 11th October 2007

10/11/07:

Tucker hurt his left wrist and has a small bone fragment in it. He won’t be stamping any holsters this week, but he will be doing orders with no stamping.

He’s seen the doctor and has another appointment early next week, so he’s committed to doing what’s necessary to heal.

We have plans in place to add another person, and he’s already set to start in the shop soon. Hopefully, in the near future, Tucker will no longer be a “one-man shop.” We just have too many orders to depend on one person.

I’d go in the shop to help but you wouldn’t want a holster I made.

 

Posted in Tucker News You Can Use | 5 Comments »